I definitely didn't expect such a Valentine's Day. So, in addition to having to say no to Natālija because of Anna, I learned that I had to go to self-isolation because of a party at Kaspar’s where I was in close contact with two people who were sick with Covid. When I finished talking to Kaspars on the phone, Anna probably saw that my face was changing because she immediately asked what had happened? I didn't know how to tell her this news. For a moment I even considered the idea of not saying anything, because she was treating me so kindly today, maybe we have to wait, and if I start showing real symptoms then only I will tell her everything and we will be able to go together in isolation. But I quickly abandoned that idea, because this is a situation where the rules must be followed.

I told her what Kaspars told me, and I hoped she wouldn't take it too hard. Anna's loving attitude changed. She asked, what does that mean? Does she have to leave now? Has the Valentine's Day celebration been canceled? I thought for a moment and said that she could stay, but then we both have to go in self-isolation, but if she does not want to be quarantined, she unfortunately has to go home. Anna, who was still in a good mood a few seconds ago, got angry at me again. She said, "That's what you deserve!" I can't say that this was the biggest fight (at least for Anna's standards, it wasn't a big fight), but she gave me a lecture, that I got what I deserved, because I walked over to parties, hung out with some strangers, and in general, that the whole country is in this in a situation because of people like me.

Anna's accusations of my irresponsible actions were funny because she went to an illegal party with me before the new year, and when I returned from Kaspar's party, she accused me of going to it without her and that she wanted to party as well. But I didn't say anything, I had learned not to question Anna's logic out loud, nothing good ever came of it. Anna got dressed while I wondered if it was safe for her to go outside, because we had kissed twice today. I advised Anna to stay home for a few days and avoid people and watch how she feels. Realizing this, she became even more angry. However, before leaving, she asked if I had everything I needed for self-isolation and if I needed anything from the store. It was her way of saying I was important to her.

Psychology is an interesting thing, because the moment Anna went away, I immediately began to experience various Covid symptoms. Suddenly, the bad feeling I felt in the morning no longer seemed to be the result of bad sleep, but the side effects of Covid. For the time being, I only had a slight headache and tiredness, but I began to pay more attention to my breathing, and I seemed to feel every breath, and worried at the slightest irregularity. I hadn't had a fever yet, at least I didn't think so, because I didn't have a thermometer at home at the time. I googled about the Covid symptoms and started reading and watching vlogs where people who had experienced Covid shared their experiences. I called the Covid helpline to consult what to do if I had been in contact with patients and I was experiencing minor symptoms.

I was advised to stay home for the time being, call my family doctor on Monday and sign up for the test in 5 days. It had been 5 days since the party, so it is around this time that symptoms usually begin to appear. However, I wasn’t worried yet, because I wasn't sure if I had this virus or not. Also, I comforted myself with the fact that I am a young, healthy and athletic man, so even if I am infected, it will not cause serious complications. Unfortunately, the reality turned out to be different.

I started thinking and planning what I needed to order to spend the next few days barricaded at home, when I suddenly realized that I also needed to inform Natālija that she should also go to quarantine. This was a pretty stupid situation, she had just asked me never to contact her again, but now I had to write her again. I sent her a message and explained the situation. To this day, I have not received any response from her. It seems Natālija's door is locked forever.


Sunday and Monday passed quite calmly. It was a little sick and that’s all. I still couldn't be sure that I had really caught the disease. But my Covid nightmare started on Tuesday.


The first thing that indicated that this was not just a small cold, but that I had probably caught the coronavirus, was that I suddenly lost my sense of taste and smell. It was a very funny experience: I had a warm blackcurrant drink at home, which I used to drink when I felt sick. Due to cinnamon in it, it has a very distinct smell. But when I made myself one such drink, I noticed that I can't smell this mulled wine-like smell at all. I started researching the packaging, thinking maybe the date had expired, so the drink had lost its flavor. But with the expiration date, everything was fine.

I drank and I couldn't really feel the taste. I remembered that loss of smell was one of the most popular symptoms of Covid. Interested, I took the Gray Goose bottle out of the freezer, uncorked and smelled it. I didn't feel anything at all. Abnormally funny feeling. The food had no taste, and I imagined that if the smell and taste disappeared forever, then at least I could finally eat only healthy food, because when I did not feel the nuances of taste, it makes no difference whether eating burgers or broccoli. However, at the same time, I could not feel full, because I simply did not feel what I was eating.

The next day  stomach problems started and I felt like I had eaten something bad. Fever  also started in the evening. I couldn't sleep at night, and it felt like my whole body was burning from the inside, but I was actually really cold. The feeling of breaking bones was accompanied by insomnia and increased sweating. I realized that this is already serious. The next day I called my parents, my mother advised me to stay at home, drink a lot of fluids, drink paracetamol, if the fever gets stronger and if it stays really bad, then call an ambulance. I hoped that I had reached the worst point of my illness, but it turned out that everything was still just starting.

The next day it got even worse. Fever, bone pain, stomach pain and headaches, absolute insomnia and fatigue, it all made me feel like a pile of people were kicking me, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. This took about 3-4 days. By the end of the week, I was even starting to see things and had a distorted sense of reality. I didn't try to go to sleep anymore, I was just half asleep, half awake all the time, and at times I couldn't understand my condition - in the world of dreams or reality. Even then, I tried to write down my feelings for later publication on this blog, but it was not possible to write even one normal sentence.

Thoughts simply floated and lived a life independent of me. I honestly just tried to endure and hoped it wouldn't get any worse. And to be quite honest, I was scared because I had never felt so helpless and sick.

After about a week, I got a little better. I was still feeling really sick, my headache and bad feeling continued, but I was already able to eat something and sleep a little more normally. The cough also started in the second week. Just as I had read, dry and sputum-free. From time to time there were such coughing attacks that I got so sick from coughing that I almost vomited.

I had such serious complications for about 2 weeks. I didn't meet anyone all this time, except for the Bolt couriers, who I warned that I was sick, so they usually left the shipment at the door. It felt like being left to die on a lonely island. It affected not only my physical but also my emotional state. Every day I also talked with Anna in face chat, who, by the way, was fine, and after our two kisses, she was happily healthy. Anna still blamed me for the party I caught the virus in, but at the same time she was worried about my health.

In the first days of March I sat at home pretty exhausted. This should have been a terribly good year, but so far nothing has happened the way I had wanted to. I have never been prone to depression, but for the first time I felt completely powerless and I couldn't find the joy of life - until suddenly, on the second day of March, I received the news that my car bought several months ago had finally been delivered to Latvia! FINALLY, POSITIVE NEWS!



In this blog I want to share the stories from my personal life. You will be able to read my beliefs, thoughts and confessions from personal experience. In order not to hurt anybody, I've changed people's names and introduce myself with pseudonym Mr Hunter.


Riga, LV


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